These blog posts are about what God is doing in my life, along with the struggles, habits and hangups that I endure and work on every day. If you have any suggestions for life blog posts, fill out a contact form, or send me an email at ajoyandjesus@gmail.com!
If you know me, or even the slightest bit about me, you know that I love being outside.
It comforts me to feel the sun on my skin and the breeze in my hair. The beauty of it all just takes my breath away and makes me feel closer to God.
It astonishes me how amazing plants and animals are, which has me thinking: if I can find beauty in those things, why can’t I see the beauty within me? I know God created me in his own image (Genesis 1:27) and that I am more important to Him than the flowers in the fields and the birds in the sky. For in Genesis it says that on the fourth day, when God created plants, He saw that it was good (1:12), but when God created Adam and Eve, He saw that it was very good (1:31).
So why do I have so much trouble seeing my own worth?
The truth is, I’m not sure. I’ll probably never know, but what I do know is that I can learn to love the way that God created me. I think it’s so cool that God “knit me together in my mother’s womb” and that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” by Him (Psalms 139:13-14).
I’ve realized that in spending more time in God’s creation, surrounded by the things that I find so beautiful, that I am beginning to see my own beauty. Finding that confidence has helped me achieve so much more than I have ever thought I could.
I love riding my bike or walking in place of driving. It allows me to see all of the trees and plants as I make my way to my destination.
My challenge to you all is to go out and find what makes you see your beauty.
Once you find that something,make it a habit to incorporate it into your everyday routine. If it’s reading your Bible or a devotional, read more. If you find beauty in painting, paint more. Spend time with friends more if that brings you joy. If exercising is your thing, do more of that. As for me, I make it a priority to spend time outside every day. Whether that be walking to class instead of taking the bus or laying in my hammock, I make sure it’s in my schedule.
Laying in my hammock is probably my favorite “outside activity” at the moment.
Find your “something” and take part in it. Not only does it help you see your worth, but it gives you the confidence to do more than you ever thought you could. Spending time outside has not only helped me feel better about myself, but it has strengthened my relationship with Christ, has helped me do better in school, and has helped with my social anxiety. For me, spending time outside is a form of self-care. Self-care is important and it shouldn’t be overlooked. It’s not just about face masks or drinking enough water (although those things are always nice). It’s about finding what makes you happy and what brings you peace.
Referenced verses:
Genesis 1:27
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (NIV)
Genesis 1:12
“The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.” (NIV)
Genesis 1:31
“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning – the sixth day.” (NIV)
Psalms 139:13-14 (this is my all-time favorite verse ?)
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (NIV)
Love,
Joy Bruecks
*These tips are specific to me and my life. Although they may work for the reader, I am not a professional in this area. These are merely suggestions that God has put in my heart through the study of scripture and through prayer and may or may not work for anyone.
I decided to write this to you in hopes that I could remind you of a few important things. If you are reading this now, you’re probably 21 or so and getting ready to graduate. Right now, as a sophomore and a first year, that seems really far away. Not going to lie, it also scares me to think about it. The next step of your life is right around the corner, and it’s probably one of the biggest steps you’ll ever take. Although a lot may be changing, keep these things in mind.
It’s okay to be scared.
The unknown is full of uncertainties and can be intimidating. Remember how you felt when you first started school at FSU? You were uncomfortable and nervous about being in an unfamiliar place. However, you were okay after one semester. You made so many good friends and had so much to look forward to. I can’t even begin to imagine what has happened between the time that I’m writing this and the time that you’re reading this, but I’m sure it’s been great. Whatever worries you have, give them to God. He’ll take you where you want to go. He already knows what the future holds, you just have to trust His plan.
It’s okay to be unsure about what path you want to take.
Just remember how you had no idea what you wanted to study when you graduated high school. However, you figured it out, just like you will now. Remember to ask God for guidance and to actually listen to what He tells you.
It is perfectly okay to not be in a relationship right now.
I know that still being single is probably not what you want and quite honestly that’s not what I want for you either. I know, in our ideal situation, that we would be in a secure relationship with the one we will spend the rest of our life with. However, that may not be what God has for us, and that’s okay. If you are still single, don’t be discouraged. This part of your life is an excellent time to focus on your goals and to get to know yourself better. Don’t fall for the lies that society tells you about being a single adult.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself and speak your mind.
I know that I struggle with social anxiety and you probably do too, although I hope it’s improved significantly. Just remember that you overthink things a bunch (and that’s a harsh truth) but a lot of times it’s all in your head. Sure, you are right about your speculations sometimes, but most of the time you couldn’t be more wrong about the way people perceive you. Don’t be embarrassed to say what’s going through your head and don’t be afraid to reach out to people. And if people don’t like to hang around you, don’t worry about it. They aren’t worth your time and there are plenty of others who enjoy your company.
Remember to enjoy the little things.
Take a moment to slow down and enjoy your surroundings. Relish at the creations that God has made. Be amazed by how the sunlight glistens through leaves on the trees. Savor the taste of your favorite cup of coffee. Soak in the warmth of the sun on a nice summer day. Embrace the ones you love. Let the laughter that you share with your friends linger. Keep painting. Sing your heart out. Call your brother. Listen to your favorite song. Pay attention to all the small things in life that bring you joy.
Stay close to your family.
You are probably a lot more independent than I am. You have your own car and your own room in your apartment. Maybe you even have a pet you care for. You may be living life mostly on your own (and maybe soon all on your own after you graduate), but don’t ever forget about your family. Don’t forget to call your parents to catch up. Carve out time to go home and visit your siblings and extended family. Pray for them continuously. Although you may be on your own, you should never forget about the ones who loved and supported you from the start.
Please please please stay connected to a church.
I’m not sure what your plans are for the future. You might be going to grad school somewhere else, or you might be staying in Tallahassee. Either way, stay involved in the church. It’s so important.
Lastly, don’t base your happiness on the involvement of others in your life.
I’m saying this because I’m struggling to do this now, and I really hope that by the time your reading this you have figured out the secret to not letting this happen. Instead, remember to love God and yourself. Other’s shouldn’t determine your own happiness because they are always going to let you down. You will always be there for yourself and God’s love will never fail.
Well, that’s about all I have to say. You’re probably reading this wondering where the time went. I know I wish I had spent the last 18 years keeping this stuff in mind. Anyway, I’m proud of what you’ve accomplished so far and I know others are too. You have so much life left to live and you should be excited about that, but don’t try to rush it. Live in the present and love others and you will be better off.
You’re killing it,
Abigail Joy
p.s. congratulations on graduating! I always knew you had it in you 🙂
Hey guys! Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, life has been pretty hectic (although when is it not? ?). Anyway, I don’t have any specific topic planned to discuss this week, so I figured I’d just give y’all a little life update.
I feel like I’m stuck in a windstorm and I can’t seem to get out.
Everything is swarming around me and I’m constantly trying to grasp at the different aspects of life to try to get ahold of them. The problem is it seems I’m only capable of holding on to one thing at a time. My time management and “balancing life” skills have never been the best, but I’ve been really struggling lately. Right now, my social life right now is great; I’m the closest I’ve ever been to my friends and I feel included, which is great. The downside is that I feel like I’m drowning in school work, struggling in the relationship area of my life, and am going through the motions in my walk with Christ. My anxiety is at peak levels because I feel like I just can’t seem to pull my life together. I really crave a balance that I can’t seem to achieve.
What I really want is peace and motivation.
A lot of times when I’m upset I shut down; I hid in my room underneath the covers of my bed while binge-watching Netflix to distract myself from everything I have to deal with. I do this when I’m overwhelmed with school work, when I’m upset with a friend, and even when I feel like my fitness is plummeting. As many of you know, I get overwhelmed pretty easily, so I shut down a lot. I’ve acknowledged that ignoring my problems just makes them worse but I can’t seem to find the motivation to deal with them right away. I feel stuck.
This weekend I went to Alabama with my sorority sisters for our spring retreat.
When I first arrived, I had no desire to be there. I love my sisters but I get really anxious and overwhelmed when I have to be around people for that long. Not only that, but we were in an area that I was unfamiliar with, which added to my anxiety. Friday evening was stressful, but I ended up having a really good time. It was nice being disconnected from social media and hanging out with the girls. I also feel like I got a glimpse of that peace and comfort that I really desire. I now just have to constantly remind myself that I can find peace in God and only Him. People will always fail me and I’m no more perfect than them. I just have to remember that placing my heart in the worldly things is only going to hurt me.
This week was also extremely difficult in regards to the approach of Valentine’s day.
I’ve never really liked this holiday and to be honest I’m usually pretty bitter about it. This year was especially hard because just a few months ago I had thought that I would be spending it was a certain someone. Now, not only did I not have someone in general, but I was missing someone in particular. However, I managed to somewhat get over that bitterness and celebrate with my friends. It opened my eyes to a better understanding that we don’t need to be romantically involved with someone to celebrate our love for one another.
Well, that’s about all I have for this week. I am really excited to share my next post with you guys – I had a lot of fun writing it. Also, I’m working on getting my shop up and running. I apologize that it’s taking so long; as it was said earlier in this post: I’ve had a lot on my plate recently. I really want my shop to be as complete as possible before I launch it.
Hi guys! I wanted to start this post by saying thank you so much for all of the positive feedback and support about my last blog post. I really hope that I was able to give you guys an insight on my struggles, as well as anxiety, depression, and binge eating in general. My goal is to be able to use my story to uplift others and show people that they are not alone.
A few days after I posted “My Mental Health,” I took a poll on Instagram about this weeks post. So many of you said that you were interested in how I cope with depression and anxiety, so that’s what I’m going to discuss this week. Some of these methods were recommended by professionals and others I discovered work for me.
One of the biggest challenges that come with having severe anxiety is the inability to think clearly when something stressful arises.
Whether it be having a panic attack or feeling really uncomfortable in a situation, it’s hard for someone with anxiety to address the situation and act appropriately. I used to “cope” during these situations by binge eating or locking myself in my room for days at a time. However, obviously, this doesn’t work. When I went to see a counselor, she addressed this and told me about self-soothing techniques.
Self-soothing techniques are activities that help calm an individual when they are upset or in distress by using the five senses.
For example, someone may use nicely scented lotion or light a candle that smells pleasant to them. Taking in the good smells and focusing on that may calm someone down. Others may look through pictures with their friends and family or wear fuzzy socks.
These are some of my favorite self-soothing activities:
Looking at nature (sight)
Painting (sight)
Sucking on a piece of candy (taste)
Burning a wax candle (smell)
Listening to soothing music (sound)
Playing guitar and singing (sound and touch)
Wrapping up in soft blankets (touch)
I know that some of these things I can’t do all of the time. However, they really help me when I’m alone and upset. Also, my counselor recommended I make a self-soothing box. This is where I keep some of my self-soothing tools, such as pictures from hiking trips or pieces of candy. Creating this box also helped me discover my love for painting.
⬅️ The top of my self-soothing box: I love flowers and my favorite color is yellow.
The front of my box: I love cacti, I think they are so cute! (too bad I can’t manage to keep them alive). ➡️
⬅️ One side of my box: “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.”
I included this verse because it talks about worry while still being relevant to the theme of the box.
The other side of my box: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
I put this verse on the box because it is my favorite verse. It’s a great reminder of God’s love for us and how he shaped each and every one of us. ➡️
In this box, I also like to keep index cards with Bible verses for different types of stressful situations.
I also manage my mental health by staying physically healthy.
Not only does this make me feel better about my physical appearance, but it has some mental effects as well. Exercise releases endorphins, a feel-good hormone. Exercising can be in many different forms, but I personally go to the gym. It takes my mind off of the stressors of life and I feel great afterward. Eating healthy also makes me feel healthier. I’ve noticed that when I consume a lot of junk food, sugar in particular, that I feel depressed. Part of that reason is that I know my decision I made wasn’t the best, but it just also makes me feel generally bad.
To keep myself accountable and prevent binge eating, I post all my meals and workouts on my personal social media. It has really helped me think about what I eat and how much I consume.
Prayer, scripture, and journaling also help me cope.
These all sound obvious, but they are crucial. Using the other methods will only bring temporary satisfaction. They may bring you happiness, but they won’t bring joy.
Journaling is one of my favorite things. I have a journal that I write my prayers in. I also write about everyday occurrences, construct poems, and journal about my faith. It’s an outlet that allows me to to do what I love, just like this blog.
So that’s it! These help me cope and many of them may help others as well. Even though I have these methods in mind, I still have bad days. However, these skills make life a lot easier to handle.
I have sat down at least five separate times and have written multiple introductions for this post. Do I preface it with a warning? Do I set ground rules because it’s a more serious topic? What details should I share and how much information is too much?
I’ve been avoiding this topic since the moment I created this blog, yet it was one of the first topics on my list of writing prompts. It’s a bit uncomfortable to talk about, to say the least, but I feel like it is important to address. This post is in no way meant to get people to pity me. I just want to share my story so that you guys can get to know me better and maybe even be able to relate with my experiences. Anyway, I’ve been dancing around this topic for too long so let’s just dive right in.
I struggle with anxiety, depression, and binge eating.
Now that I’ve gotten that out there, I’m going to warn you that the rest of this may just be awkward rambling about my experience. Again, it’s a pretty uncomfortable subject for me to discuss, so just try and bare with me.
I’ve dealt with depression since middle school.
Towards the end of elementary and throughout middle school, I was bullied. Some of those people who picked on me were your typical bullies; they were just some kids who lived down the street from me and received satisfaction from poking fun at me. They called me names and made fun of my religion and creativity. I let it get to me. Although their words hurt, they only affected me a little bit because I wasn’t close to them personally. What really got to me was in middle school when my friends started to pick on me. They called me, just to list a few, a “goody-two-shoes,” “pizza face,” and “boy-crazy.” These things hurt even more than the teasing from the bullies. I considered them my best friends and to have people that I trusted pick on my personality and looks hurt me a lot.
7th grade (I’m the one in the middle).
I didn’t recognize that I was depressed until 8th grade.
The summer before my 8th-grade year, I met this guy who became a close friend of mine, or so I thought. We got along great and eventually, we liked each other as more than friends. However, without any explanation, one day he began actively avoiding me. This lasted for six months. I cried myself to sleep for a majority of that time because I had lost someone who I thought was my best friend and I had no idea why. However, towards the end of 8th grade, I got into a relationship with a guy and it made my ex-friend jealous. He started talking to me again suddenly. For some reason, I went along with it and eventually even dated him after my other relationship ended. I don’t really know what I was expecting considering his past actions. He ended up emotionally abusing me. He liked to build me up, calling me beautiful, smart, and loveable. Then he would turn around and tell me that I was annoying and awful to be around. Although I’ve forgiven him, it really affected my self-esteem and to this day I still struggle with believing that what he told me were lies.
Between my friends teasing, my ex’s emotional abuse, and being bullied, I became really insecure about my personality and appearance.
I transitioned into my freshman year of high school with a mask on. I pretended to be someone else by straightening my hair, listening to different music, and even going against some of my beliefs to show people that I was in fact not a “goody-two-shoes.” I craved others’ approval and even when I received it, I wasn’t any happier. God definitely was not in the center of my life.
Throughout my years in high school, I developed severe anxiety. I hated being around a lot of people and being out for a long time. I always felt like I was being judged and therefore I secluded myself. This caused me to lose a lot of friends in high school, which made me feel even more unaccepted. I began to have anxiety and panic attacks regularly. My anxiety became more generalized over time; social situations were not the only situations that made me anxious.
Freshman year of high school (this picture really cracks me up ?).
This next part is a little more sensitive so I felt the need to add a trigger warning: Self-harm and suicide are discussed in the next few paragraphs. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, please talk to someone you trust or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
In middle school, I began to consider self-harm. I knew a few people who cut themselves and I thought that it would be an ideal way to cope with what I was feeling (disclaimer: it’s not). Thankfully, I was too afraid of my parents finding out to back these thoughts with any action. However, I dreamt about cutting for years. I romanticized self-harm which led to suicidal thoughts.
In high school, I lost a lot of friends. I didn’t feel like I had anyone who considered me as their best friend. I felt like people didn’t want me around and I believed those lies. My junior year was the first time I planned my suicide. I was originally going to take a few pills for a headache. However, I felt so awful about my current situation that instead I decided I was going to take the whole bottle of painkillers. I grabbed the bottle from the medicine cabinet. I starred at it for a few minutes before I burst into tears. Sobbing, I put the bottle away and immediately told my dad.
I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts since then. There have been times where I’ve thought about overdosing, hanging myself, or deeply cutting my wrists. Thankfully, I never attempted. These times were the only instances in which my anxiety came in clutch.
In middle school, I also became really uncomfortable with my body.
I always thought I was fat. I’m short, only 4’11, so my body is a little more compact. Genetics also provided me with thick thighs and curves which I struggle to accept. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) as well. Some of the symptoms are weight gain and difficulty with weight loss. I’ve always had a bit of a bad relationship with food. The foods I ate were overall pretty healthy, however, I have never been good with portion control. It wasn’t that big of an issue until my senior year of high school. I began binge eating at night without my parents knowing. I would sneak out to the kitchen, collect a bunch of snacks, and eat them in my room. This got worse in college. I thought it would be easier to eat healthier because I controlled what food I kept in my dorm. However, because I lived on my own, I indulged even more than I did before. I gained about 12 pounds last fall.
Now don’t worry, there’s a decent “ending” to this story.
I use the word “ending” lightly because I know I’m going to struggle with these things until my time is up. However, I have started to reach out to others for help.
The week before finals last semester, I went to my school’s counseling center. I was able to meet with a professional therapist and we discussed my mental health. She gave me some really great tips about how to address what I was struggling with. Applying these things to my life, as well as giving up all of my struggles to God, has really helped me improve. I’m not 100% “better” by any means and quite frankly I probably never will be. I have my bad days, as does everyone else. However, things have been looking up :).
Me now (a few days before the start of spring semester).
Well, that’s about it for now.
In the future, I may post updates on my mental health. My journey isn’t over until God calls me home, so instead of letting my mental health consume me, I’m going to let God use my story to help others.
Comment below if I should write a post about the strategies that I use for self-care/coping mechanisms!
Tip: if your college offers free counseling, utilize it!! Some of your tuition is going towards the center, so if you’re already paying for it you might as well use it!
For those who have gone to church for a while, you have probably heard the phrase “God’s got a plan for you.” It’s a saying so commonly used that sometimes its hard to believe. Lately, I’ve been struggling to believe that. This week has been one of the most difficult weeks I’ve gone through in a long time. Things aren’t going the way that I want. I keep telling myself that it’s all part of God’s plan for me, but I haven’t trusted in that. Not trusting God in my struggles this week has caused me to make some irrational decisions.
So sure, we hear the phrase all the time. But do we actually believe in that and trust it?
I know I personally have trouble have trouble trusting His plan because I don’t know what it is. I’m the type of person who likes to have a plan for everything, I’m not much of a spontaneous person when it comes to most things. Knowing what’s going on and knowing what how everything is going to pan out eases my anxiety. There are little to no questions that need to be asked. There’s little room for doubt and it is clear what is going to happen.
God’s plan is nothing like what I just described.
Sure, He’s got one for each and every one of us, but I believe we are never going to really know what that is until it happens. This makes it difficult for me, and many others, to trust His plan. However, in order to have a relationship with God and in order to put our full trust in him, we need to have faith. This doesn’t mean that He’s going to leave us in the dark, though. In order to follow His plan, we need to ask for guidance and then obey His commands.
I find myself asking God for help a lot.
I’ve been taught to work prayer into my everyday life, and I have my parents to thank for that. But some people have trouble with prayer. Some don’t know what to say or how to listen. But in order to follow God’s plan for us, we need to ask for wisdom. He may not tell us exactly what is going to happen, but He will provide us with what we need. He may tell us bluntly what our next step is, or He may tell us something as simple as to be patient.
What I really struggle with is obeying what He tells me.
Sure, I’m not afraid to ask for help, but when I don’t get an answer that I wanted, I tend to try to take things into my own hands. What I’ve learned throughout life and especially through this week, is that taking matters into my own hands just doesn’t work. God knows what’s best for me. He sees the big picture, and He’s got things planned that I couldn’t even begin to imagine. I, on the other hand, have tunnel vision. I can’t see how things are going to unravel. Things that I think might benefit me could really hurt me. I don’t know anything about the right timing or about what’s best for my life, even though I may at times think I do.
This week I lost a relationship with a person that made me really happy. The worst part is that I tried to take the situation into my own hands, and didn’t step back and give it to God. I let the situation consume me. I got mad at myself, the other person, and at God. But today I realized that God is going to use this. He’s going to use my mistakes to teach me a lesson. As far as the relationship is concerned, I don’t know what’s going to happen. It may be the timing that’s wrong, or this relationship may not be God’s plan for me at all. I firmly believe that this person was put in my life for a reason, even if it’s for reasons of which I’m not sure. This blog is my way of giving this situation up to God.
This is something I definitely need to work on.
Now I’m not holding myself to the standards of being “perfect.” I’m going to mess up. There will be days where I’m going to struggle with the idea that I am not in control. But trusting in God’s plan will not only help me grow in my faith, but it will significantly lower my anxiety levels. Giving everything to Him will take the weight off my shoulders. It’s going to be tough accepting that I don’t know what’s best for me, but if I did then I wouldn’t need to put my trust in God.
I’ve learned that asking for help and getting advice is more than okay and that we aren’t meant to do this alone. The saying “God won’t give you more than you can handle” is silly to me because He will, but he isn’t expecting you to carry that load alone. It’s amazing that we have a God that is personal, that we can trust and rely on, and who has a plan for each and every one of us.
What the Bible has to say about: His plan that He has for us
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
This is my sister’s baptism verse, and it’s one of my favorites. The Lord explicitly tells us He has a plan for us and that they are good and for our own well being. There is no need to read between the lines or for inference – He makes it as clear as day. Therefore, because the Lord Himself – the one who has never lied to us or forsaken us – tells us this, we should stand firm on this promise.
Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
I love love love this verse because there is no area for misinterpretation of this message. As humans we have a tendency to do what we think is best; we commonly choose to “lean on our own understanding” when we are specifically told not to. These few verses also tell us that trusting in Him will lead us in the right direction, and from reading the previous verse (Jeremiah 29:11), we know that His ways are good.
Some other really awesome verses:
Romans 8:28
Proverbs 16:9
Isaiah 58:11
Tip and tidbits about trusting in God’s plan*
Ask for help. God is personal and is always listening, and there is no shame in asking for help. Praying, reading the Bible, and confiding in strong christian people in your life are just a few ways you can ask for help. In order to trust and follow God’s plan for our lives, we need to lean on Him and learn more about what He has in store for us.
Stop and listen. A lot of people get caught up in asking for things. We continually ask God for things that we want in our lives, but in order to live out a life according to His plan, we need to listen to Him. God is always speaking to us and showing us things, we just have to open up our eyes and ears to what he has to share.
Obey His commands. Sometimes it’s hard not to take matters into our own hands. We tend to think we know what’s best for our lives, but the truth of the matter is we don’t. Therefore, we need to let go of our need for control and trust the path on which God will lead us.
Love,
Abigail Joy
*These tips and tidbits are specific to me and my life. Although they may work for the reader, I am not a professional in this area. These are merely suggestions that God has put in my heart through the study of scripture and through prayer and may or may not work for anyone.
Arriving at Florida State, I had no idea what clubs or groups I was going to join.
My main priority was finding a youth group of sorts to join so that I could continue to grow in my relationship with Christ throughout college. The first week of classes, I checked out some of the main christian organizations on campus. They were all super nice people and seemed genuinely devoted to Christ, but I feared that I was going to have difficulty feeling a sense of belonging in a large group like that. I still wanted to keep searching because I knew I needed to join a christian group.
The first week of classes the university held an involvement fair that gave students the opportunity to explore what clubs and organizations had to offer. I went with my friend from high school, for we were both looking for places to get involved.
Both of us being christians, we started sifting through the booths of the christian student groups. I never realized how many different options there are. There were women fellowship groups, student fellowship groups, purity groups and so on. Just as we approached the end of the religious booths, we stumbled upon the booth for Delta Alpha Chi, a christian sorority.
Many girls in my high school graduating class participated in rush this fall. For those who aren’t familiar, rush is a week dedicated to finding and hopefully pledging to a sorority. To me, Greek Life was never appealing. It seemed like too much work, and I feared it would lead me away from God. However, Delta Alpha Chi seemed to be dedicated to showing the love of Christ and growing closer to him through fellowship with others.
I knew christian sororities existed, I just didn’t know Florida State had one.
A family friend that I grew up with is in a christian sorority and she loves it, so I decided to write my name and contact information down at the booth. When I got home that night, I gave my mom a call and told her about Delta Alpha Chi. To my surprise, she was actually pretty interested in me checking it out.
As information night approached, I grew more and more excited. This seemed like a great way to grow with other women of my faith at a smaller and more personal level. My mom shipped me my nicer clothes (because I didn’t think I was going to need dresses and heels when I came up here). In the application, they said that rush was going to be very similar to any other sorority rush week, just more laid back and faith centered.
Information night was probably the best night I had had on campus up until that point. I met so many amazing girls, both sisters and rushies. I feared the process of rushing, but when I got there I realized it was going to be a lot more relaxed and less intimidating.
Rush was on Tuesdays and Thursdays and lasted two weeks.
The second day of rush I was interviewed, which to my surprise didn’t make me nervous at all. It was also testimony night one that night. I loved spending time hearing some of the other girls’ stories and what they have gone through in their faith. That night was also the night I met Allie, who is now my closest friend at FSU.
The last night of rush was Pref night. In terms of a regular sorority, this is a night when you choose what sorority you like and find out if they like you back. Because we were only rushing for one sorority, it was a little different. It was a black dress event, and it was a time where we got to hear a little bit of God’s word, as well as share a meal with everyone. Later that night, we got our invitations to bid day and we met our mentors. It was so much fun.
That following Saturday was bid day, where we got to “run home” to Delta Alpha Chi. We did a sort of “scavenger hunt” around the campus, which included games and other fun activities. It was a great day of getting to know the girls in my rush class more. After we ran to our mentors, we recieved our bid day shirts and took pictures.
Now, as the rush class of Alpha Alpha, we are now pledges.
Since rush week, I’ve made so many connections with these girls, and have made friends who I know care about me and are willing to support me. Not only are these people in my life to help me grow spiritually, but they are also there for friendship. We often go out and get dinner, hang out during the week, and attend bible studies together. If I ever need a ride to an event, or just in general, I know the girls have my back. I am so excited to continue to grow with them, both relationally and spiritually. I know God has placed me in this sorority, and I trust He will lead me to where he wants me to be.
So whether it’s getting involved in a campus ministry, or joining a christian sorority, you should always try to find a group to join in college that helps you strengthen your faith. You may think that Greek life isn’t the way for you, but you never know. It may be the place you call home.
What the bible has to say about: fellowship with others
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
I love these verse because one of the primary ways Jesus wants to connect with us is through relationship with others. “Two are better than one,” it says, for when we are with others in our walk we can provide encouragement and support.
Matthew 18:20
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
Once again, God is calling us to be in fellowship with others. In a class I attended before I went to college, they referenced this verse and explained that while reading the word alone and praying by yourself is good, God is among those worshiping together in His name.
Tip and tidbits about fellowship in His name*
Get involved in a small group. Many christians fall into the trap of believing they can walk in their faith on their own. It is sometimes presumed that as long as one goes to church and prays that that is enough. God calls us to be with others, it’s not just merely a suggestion. Being in a small, faith-based group provides you with support, as well as other perspectives about what the Word means and how it can be applied to our lives.
Get involved within your church. Fellowship is not only found in small bible studies, but also by serving with others. I have met so many great people through serving in my church that are always there to support me, and in return, I am there to support them.
Love,
Abigail Joy
*These tips and tidbits are specific to me and my life. Although they may work for the reader, I am not a professional in this area. These are merely suggestions that God has put in my heart, and may or may not work for anyone.
I follow a Christian blog called Girl Defined, and they recently uploaded a blog post about overcoming same-sex attraction (if you get a chance, you should go check it out; it’s amazing). Same-sex attraction (SSA) is a really controversial topic, even among Christians. In their post, they used scripture to support that SSA is a temptation of this world, and if you give in it is a sin.
Of course, as one might expect, their audience blew up the comment section. Sure, there were a lot of comments saying that SSA isn’t wrong and that it’s okay to act upon those feelings. I was expecting those kind of comments. What amazed me the most, however, was how many people accused the authors of judging those who experience SSA.
In the blog post, the authors said that SSA was like anything else: a temptation that many people struggle with. No where in the post did they strike down those who experience SSA. They just addressed that it was something that God could help anyone overcome. They didn’t say that if you experienced these temptations that you were a bad person or worse than everyone else.
Judging others isn’t the same thing as informing them.
You are able to inform someone about there sins, in a compassionate and loving way, without judging them. We all sin, but we also should hold our brothers and sisters accountable for our actions. Just because you let someone know in a Christ-like way that what they are doing is a sin doesn’t mean you are judging that person.
For example, if I am at the market with a group of friends and I see one of my friends slip something they didn’t pay for in there pocket, it would be totally acceptable for me to tell my friend kindly that stealing is wrong. Me telling them this doesn’t mean I think poorly or any differently of my friend, I just was informing them that what they were doing was wrong. If I made a huge scene, called them an awful person, etc., then that would be judging. Kindly informing someone about their wrongdoing is not.
Our society is so quick to judge.
I do it all the time. Most of the time when we judge, its almost unconsciously. Its second nature. I understand how people could mistake pointing out peoples wrongs as judging, because thats a form of action that we are used to. However, we should be careful, because sometimes our accusations can be wrong and hurtful.
What the bible has to say about: judging others and keeping our peers accountable
Matthew 7: 1-5
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
These verses clearly tell us that we are in no place to judge. It uses the speck and plank metaphor to show that we are all sinners, and until we are free of that sin, we should not judge our peers. God, who is sinless, is therefore the only one who can rightfully judge us.
Galatians 6:1
“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”
Here, we are told to keep each other accountable by telling one another kindly when one is in the wrong. But, we are also reminded that even though we are spiritual, we will be tempted as well.
Tip and tidbits about prevention from judging others*
Always consider the situation. What is going on? Why do you feel judgement towards the person? Remember that we are all human, therefore we all sin.
Even if we don’t agree with someone, doesn’t mean we need to thrust judgment upon them. We are all, at some point or another, going to disagree with someone. That doesn’t mean that we need to think higher of ourselves, or even that they are in the wrong. You don’t have to agree, but we are called as Christians to love one another, even with our differences.
Love,
Abigail Joy
*These tips and tidbits are specific to me and my life. Although they may work for the reader, I am not a professional in this area. These are merely suggestions that may or may not work for anyone.
This past week I was shadowing a neuropsychologist at a children’s hospital in my area. When I met her, we talked for a little while, and halfway through our conversation she looked at me and said “I really like your pants. I can never find pants that fit me right, so I usually just wear skirts to work.”
I was at worship band practice this last Thursday, and I was wearing my knockoff berkenstocks. While a couple of students and I were waiting for someone to let us into the building, one of the girls, who has a really good sense of style, looked down at my feet and said, “Abby, I really like your shoes.”
These are just a few instances that I can remember off the top of my head, but there have been many other times where someone’s compliments that they have given me have made my day better. Those little comments that you might think have little impact on someone could turn their day around. In both of those cases above, those simple compliments made me feel more confident for the rest of the day.
I know I shouldn’t need validation to have confidence.
I have been working on feeling confident in Jesus and what He has made me to be. But I still do feel great when someone compliments me, and I know others do too. I see a lot of talk on social media about how when people receive compliments, they don’t know how to respond. This has me thinking that the reason we don’t know how to act when given a compliment is because we aren’t used to being built up by our peers.
It feels like in today’s society its all about competition. Who’s the best dressed, who has the best grades, who’s the strongest in their faith, etc. Girls specifically would rather rip their peers to shreds before they ever complimented them. Honestly, thats our culture, and its sad.
But imagine if we could change that. All it takes is doing something as simple as telling someone that they are doing great today, or that you like their outfit. Its really not that hard.
Sometimes, I spend more time thinking about whether I should compliment someone than I do actually giving out compliments.
I’ll stand there and think to myself “Wow, I just love that person’s hair. Do I tell them? Will they think I’m weird if I say that to them?” A lot of times, I won’t even be able to muster up the courage to tell them, yet I know that if I did, I could help build someone up in a society where all we do is tear others down.
It really doesn’t take much to compliment someone, even when its just passing them by. All it takes is a few words strung together in such a way to make someone feel good about themselves and what they are doing. I don’t know why I don’t do it more often, because I know the impact it can have on someone. My challenge to you is that if you like something about a person, tell them. It won’t hurt anyone, rather it may help patch someone’s confidence back together. And even if you receive just a simple smile in return, you’re spreading love and joy in a world that really needs it.
What the bible has to say about: building each other up
1 Thessalonians 5:1
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
When we compliment one another, we are obeying God’s commandment to encourage one another. I love this verse because although its simple, it tells us one way we as Christians are able to stand out from the rest of the world. We can use encouragement as a way to show God’s love that He has for them, as well as us.
Ephesians 4:29
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
In God’s word it says that we should not talk poorly of others, yet gossip and bullying are common behaviors in our culture. As Christians, we should work to refrain from such things.
Tip and tidbits about complimenting others*
Don’t be afraid. Don’t let the fear of being judged by others stop you from complimenting someone. You shouldn’t be afraid to say something nice to someone. It won’t do any harm.
Keep it simple. Compliments don’t have to be complex. They could be something as simple as “Your hair looks really nice today.” If it comes from the heart and builds them up, it doesn’t matter what you say.
Love,
Abigail Joy
* These tips and tidbits are specific to me and my life. Although they may work for the reader, I am not a professional in this area. These are merely suggestions that may or may not work for anyone.
At the end of my senior year of high school, their was talk about mission trips at my church. The high school wing was doing their yearly mission trip to Mexico, and my old high school group leader’s wife was leading it. Chris, my old high school leader I mentioned previously, was going on the trip as well, and was working to recruit students to go.
I hadn’t been on a mission trip since the summer before my freshman year. I honestly wasn’t that interested, especially because none of my good friends were going. Chris, however, kept pressing me to consider. Finally, one day I told him I would sign up, not really thinking much about my response.
I told my dad about the mission trip, and he told me I should go. I said okay, and didn’t really think much else about it. Things started to get real, however, when it was the deadline to sign up for the trip. I signed up the day sign-ups closed; I had no idea what I was getting myself into, or what to expect.
I missed the first two trip meetings due to being out of town, so my first meeting I felt out of place. Everyone going knew almost everyone else, either from the meetings or from being friends previously. I knew three people, and none of them extremely well.
I only went to three of the seven meetings before the trip, so when it came time to fly out to Mexico, I was scared. I still wasn’t that close to anyone on the team, and I didn’t know anything about what we were doing on this trip. I was so nervous that I barely slept the night before.
We met at the church at 4:00 a.m. on Sunday to drive to the airport.
I hate early mornings. I was running on about three hours of sleep, and I was terrified for I was stepping into the unknown. I also forgot to mention, I had never been out on the country before.
I barely spoke on the bus ride to the airport. Sitting alone, I watched everyone talk to their friends. I already wanted to go home.
My experience began to changed, however, when we got to the airport. I started conversations with some of my teammates, and we got to know each other a little better (not to mention I was a bit more awake at that point).
I slept the entire first flight to Texas, which I was okay with considering I was the only team member sitting with strangers. Our connecting flight from Texas to Mexico wasn’t for another three or so hours after we landed, so we ate Panda Express and played card games. It was fun.
When we arrived in Mexico, all of my worries piled up. I was in a foreign country, away from home, with people I didn’t know very well, and I didn’t speak the language. I was completely out of my comfort zone.
When we landed, we were picked up from the airport by a few people from Christian Missionary Fellowship International (CMF). We were serving along side of them for the time we were there. We went and had tacos, and I’m going to let you know now: you haven’t really had tacos until you’ve had authentic tacos. I’m not talking Taco Bell, that doesn’t compare to the tacos I had in Mexico.
They drove us to the camp, where we were stayed until Wednesday.
It was very different compared to camps in the U.S. The buildings didn’t have air conditioning, the only common building was the dinning hall, and the campers served the food to other campers. We slept on cots in a big room, so there was little personal space. What I didn’t realize until a few days later that these conditions were luxurious for the campers. A lot of them come from homes that house their family and extended family, so having their own bed and a roof over their head was something they didn’t experience on a regular basis.
The first day felt so long. After we got settled, we were introduced and split into groups. I was placed in the orange group, as well as were two other people from my church. We learned their chicken dance, and we played so icebreaker games. Then, we had a campfire, which seemed to last forever. We were all tired, but we had to stay out until 11:30 p.m. that night.
The next day was not the best.
I discovered I had altitude sickness, and I was still struggling to connect to the campers. The day consisted of meals, sports, lessons, games, and swimming. We had absolutely no down time, to which was hard to adjust.
Side note: swimming was HUGE for the campers. Unlike in the States, most of these kids didn’t have access to a pool at home, and some of them didn’t even know how to swim because they never got the chance to learn
Throughout the day, my attitude started to change. I started forming relationships with others, even though it took a while to have a conversation with some people because we didn’t speak the same language. One of the most comforting things was that the campers came up to us, and genuinely wanted to talk to us.
The rest of the week went by very quickly.
On Wednesday, we left the camp to go to the church. From Wednesday night on, we stayed in a hotel, which was close to the church. By then I had started to become close friends with some of the campers, as well as the people from our church. While we were at the church, we continued the theme of the camp, as well as worked on serving the community. I actually wanted to be there, and as the end of the week approached, I didn’t want to leave.
This trip changed my life.
I wasn’t expecting it to have such an impact on me. I entered Mexico scared about the unknown, which hardened my heart. However, once I asked God to change my outlook on the trip, there was a change in me. I feel like I learned more on that trip than I taught others. I realized that we weren’t there to help the campers, but we were there to serve along side them and encourage one other to grow in our faith.
One thing I loved about their culture was their sense of community. Their friendships and relationships were completely different from what occurs in the U.S. They do life together. For a lot of them, family and friends are all they have. I want to be able to bring that sense of relationship to my community, both at home and at school.
The trip also made me realize that I need to stop worrying about what other people think of me. I often exclude myself from others because I’m afraid if I approach them, that they won’t accept me. However, in Mexico, so many of the campers approached me and were interested to get to know who I am, even though we have so many differences. I learned that I shouldn’t care what other people think, because most of the time, they could use a friend as well.
I will never forget this trip. I made so many close friends, some that live in a different country than me. I learned so much about God and his plan for me in the little time we were there. I’m so glad I got to go, and I’m thankful for all the prayers and support.
What the bible has to say about: serving others
Romans 12:1
“Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship.”
I believe this verse is calling us to step out of our comfort zone and fully commit to serving God. Sometimes, where He calls you is scary. I was terrified when I first got to Mexico. But God can use you in mysterious and wonderful ways if you let Him, you just have to answer to His call.
Tip and tidbits about mission trips
Humble yourself. Don’t go in with the mindset that you are there to help them. You aren’t there to make their lives better. You are there to serve along side of the people and to share the love of Jesus.
Allow yourself to learn from those who live where you are serving. I’ve learned after several mission trips that the locals may have a bigger impact on you than you have on them. That’s okay. Allow yourself to grow while you are on these trips.
If you are serving with the materially poor, don’t come with the mindset that giving them gifts will make there lives better. Before we went on the trip, we read “Helping Without Hurting: In Short-Term Missions,” which is an excellent book that talks about how to serve without making a negative impact. In the book, the authors touched a lot on how sometimes giving the materially poor “things” can make them feel degraded and like they cannot provide for them and their families. I highly recommend reading the book if you can.
If there is a language barrier, don’t worry. Throughout the week, I didn’t really learn more Spanish than I already knew, however by the end of the week, I was able to communicate with the campers better than ever. I learned that actions really do speak louder than words. Even if you don’t have real conversations with people, you can still get to know them through activities such as sports and games. Don’t let language discourage you, in the end you will find a way to create relationships. (p.s. It does, however, encourage them if you try to learn and speak their language ?)
